I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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