booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
