i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
