god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
