dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
