I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
