...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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