six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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