This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
