I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize