threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize