when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
