ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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