Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
