I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
