school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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