It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
