You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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