remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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