stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize