By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
