I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
