New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
