Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
