I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
