You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
