I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
