youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
