Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize