Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
