You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
