So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
