Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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