Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
