he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He shit in the fireplace
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