Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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