My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
