are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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