One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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