people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
