Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
