nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
