i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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