yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
