I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize