You're so nebulous sometimes
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
