xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you will always have a special place in my vag
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
