Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
