Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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