I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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