so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
