My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
