Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
