used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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