is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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