She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
