Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
