4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
