My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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