Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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