But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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