WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
