Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
