I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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