You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
